Apparently someone started an online forum-thing for the remaining sceners. Apparently Dominion pulled themselves together without Mike Strange. And they’ve totally forgotten about Andrew being their rhythm guitarist once upon a time.

The time I joined “the scene” was a frigging long time ago. Mike Strange was still Dominion’s front man. He was still together with that chick from Prominence of Cathedral. Hell, Prominence of Cathedral was still performing. The Late Isabel was a relatively new band. Scarlet Tears were a bunch of noobcakes – in music AND attire. I was there when Kozi of Malice Mizer performed with Dominion. I was there when that idiot Joseph waved around a bunch of palm leaves during a Dominion gig that happened to fall on a Palm Sunday. All the scene noobs we called Baby Bats wore elegant gothic lolita. And to our disgust, they brought their dolls to prove that they were doing gothic lolita right.

And last but not least, I was addressed as Lady Lyra’s Sister. People would ask my sister for permission to take her picture, and they’d be shivering in delight when she’d say yes. My tone dead sister would get all sorts of invitations to join random goth bands – all while she’s stuffing her face and being at her most un-goth.

That was a longass time ago. Sure we had a lot of poseurs (like we weren’t poseurs), but people had good taste in music, at least. Everyone knew who The Cure and Siouxsie and the Banshees were. People have at least heard of The Sisters of Mercy and Bauhaus. They knew well enough to shut the hell up when This Corrosion was playing. And even though everyone knew that The Sisters of Mercy and Robert Smith of the Cure fucking hate it when people call them goth, they were still regarded as the pillars of the subculture.

Most little Filipino gothlings these days don’t even know who these bands are. Hardly anyone’s an old school goth. Sure, I’m all about supporting Indie bands, but it’s always a great thing to know your roots. So at least you’ll know what made the gothic subculture that way, and you won’t get lost into thinking that being goth is all about being a whiny bitch and writing bad poetry. Darling, that isn’t goth. That’s emo.

Anyway, I’ve long quit being a scener goth (ever since I realized how pretentious it was), and I’ve long outgrown whatever the Philippine goth scene ever offered. But I do catch myself listening to old school goth music still, and I still find myself more comfortable in lace skirts and boots than in hotpants and flipflops. Trust me on this one, kiddies. You’re bound to outgrow scenes, but not the artistry that sparked it. Listen to a few Sisters of Mercy tracks. HIM’s got nothing on Andrew Eldritch. And for the love of all things pleasant, quit bringing your dolls to Goth Night! It’s not a sleepover!

You can have my shot of absinthe. I’ll have tea, please.

On number three: excruciatingly slow internet connection that hasn’t improved in two weeks. I’m not even sure if I’ll be able to publish this entry, as this asshole connection is moving at a lovely 5KB per second. I called customer care today. After half an hour of waiting, I got to talk to a customer care representative. He asked the usual questions – if I’ve restarted the router, if I have my firewall turned on, and other stuff. Then he told me to configure my firewall. I told him that I wouldn’t know how to do that as I’m using a Mac, and the firewall’s pretty much built in here. He put me on hold for another half hour and got back with what were supposed to be instructions on Mac firewall configuration. The bastard told me to press the Start button. I just go, “huh?” and he goes, “the button at the bottom left.”

Fucking arrogant bastard. I already told him that I’m using a Mac. I told him, “okay, there’s no Start button, but anyway, what’s next?” He told me to go to the fucking Control Panel and click on Firewall and Security (or something).

Son of a bitch. He made me wait for half an hour just to give me Windows instructions. I told him that my firewall’s allowing all connections. And guess what. He told me to turn the damn thing off. IT’S AS OFF AS IT CAN BE, ASSHOLE. Making me wait, giving me fucked up instructions, and assuming that Windows and Mac are the exact same thing. It was a total waste of time. My connection’s still stupid. I’m sure that ass wipe agent still is, too.

On number two: Connor’s Nanny. I seriously don’t know why I have to live with this bitch. She takes care of Connor, but once she sees me or my sister, she’ll give the baby to use and magically disappear. I understand that Connor’s a big boy, but she would do that when we’d be home from school or work, so we’re fucking tired, too. That isn’t even the biggest problem. The worst thing is she pretty much disrespects everyone in this house, talking to us like we’re her fucking subordinates. But my issue isn’t how she treats me. She talks to my sister like she’s a fucking animal, totally disregarding that my sister is the mother of the baby she’s assigned to take care of. She talks to my sister like she’s a bad mother. My sister isn’t a bad mother, but even if she was, it’s not that lowlife’s place to say so. Call me a snob, but I hate it when people don’t know their place. I also hate it that my parents don’t want to let her go because it’s hard to find a nanny we can trust.

I just hope we find a good replacement and she quits before I do something violent.

Number one on my list: my proposal to operate in a funeral home building got rejected because the funeral home in question decided to put up their own cafe in their building, using MY concept. I was prepared to be rejected for the reason that my services are beyond their budget, or that my offerings don’t jive with theirs. But I was NOT prepared to be copied by those greedy sons of bitches. I certainly did not spend so much time and effort to plan my business only for my ideas to be stolen by assholes who know shit about coffee and probably like coffee for the goddamn status symbol. I lost so much sleep developing products, strategies, and running around to get things done; I certainly didn’t do that to get ripped off by greedy assholes who think they’re fucking untouchable.

If they planned to put up a coffee shop from the beginning, they wouldn’t have stated their interest in having me operate there, and they wouldn’t have suggested that I do a test run. What fucktards. As soon as they find out how much more they’ll be making with my services, they get an idea of how much they’d earn if they get my profits as well. So just like that, they’re stealing my concept. I’d really like to be calm about this and tell myself it isn’t worth it, but this isn’t just marbles in the park. This is my goddamn livelihood they’re fucking with.

For whatever reason they did this, I only hope that they get what they deserve. I’d really want them to choke on their shitty ethics, but in the very unlikely event there was a good excuse for screwing me over like that, I’d rather wish them well. Either way, I want nothing to do with them.

I definitely won’t be having my funeral there, that’s for sure.